That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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