I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize