just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize