hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize