So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This is my gift to your gina
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
