Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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