I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
