great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
