so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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