If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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