just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
