Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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