So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
