Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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