umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
