guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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