You're my little dorito
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
