So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
