Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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