dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
