I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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