And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
