When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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