So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
