HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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