Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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