He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
