Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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