He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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