Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize