im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize