Don't make out with my wife yet
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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