i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
