I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
