Im at strip club and am horny
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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