Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
