Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
