i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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