So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
