im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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