i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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