Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
