So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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