i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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