people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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