oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
