I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
