i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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