What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
