After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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