he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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