I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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