sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she pinky promised me she was 18
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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