My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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