I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Slut skills are useful in every country.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
