We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize