But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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