i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize