Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
