She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Will exercising make me less horny?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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