I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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