so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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