What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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