I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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